Locked window:

4/15/06

                                                   

Locked window:                                                                                                                                          I roam the area that has been staked out, plated mentally with directions and easements, which are not to be encroached upon, these, are limits that I tell myself to live by. To (refrain, conform, and follow guidance) 

From my given misdirection according to orders I know if followed will provide me with the least amount of resistance. As I plan this path, I ponder some kind of inter visionary thought looking through what   seems like a fogged covered window that I continue to towel dry assuming that a somewhat clearer view of the other side would be given me even though I know the other side will always be a distant intangible reality, one that I chose and do not want to have any dealings with.

This distraction I quickly dismiss as day- dreaming therefore abandoned it for a more productive area of thought which will hold more true commitment for me. I am one of a jealous nature choosing to shield myself with distance in having to deal with, from what some would say to be “the wealthy elite rich silver spoons in life” and I know them to be. Ones of a pre-set destiny in a future that has been pre planed for them, not given to despair or concern, only to dwell in their continued comfort which they know no other and therefore have always been accustomed to it.

Interaction with persons of this like does however give me a chance to further develop and compose my future design ideas which at times will and does lead to additional creations engaging further working drawings in the completion of any said project of my own design. Content with this appointed area I accept the challenge and subdue my emotions to once more think on a new and meaningful concept, I become focused towards a projected goal achieving the end results of a commissioned plan.

 The other side of the window remains a clear view of my intent; I reside just inside the line drawn by the shade of the light that passes through. My closet bearing my work space remains alive with many ideas ones that have given me my own satisfaction  and as I remain sheltered from any inter-conferences   this has been my norm and has also been accepted,   “ a pattern of efficiency from others.”

I should feel fortunate in this position, after all I created it, still at times I walk by the window to pause an wonder what they might be saying, and then again I think, does it even matter  after all they are looking at my own work;  I guess that’s the most important thing to me anyway.

Sully!